I’m in an email discussion with another Irish singer-songwriter.

It seems that many of us hold ourselves back creatively and we were sharing our frustration and experience.

Demons & fears are the single thing that holds back so many songwriters and I include myself in that. Some days I'm confident and others I just wonder who I'm trying to kid. I'm even going through it now with my album recording. On MySpace there is a simple guitar+vocal+cello demo of a song called "Holding On". I started recording a master of it last week and have almost completed it. The problem is that I've recorded it with a full band arrangement. Although I like it I'm not sure if I should stick to the original simple arrangement. I'm trying not to sound like a whiny acoustic folksy singer-songwriter stereotype (I'm looking at you Damien Rice!). I've done this with my song 'Be Alright' which on MySpace is a simple acoustic demo but the ‘album’ version has more in the arrangement.

I've decided to just get on with it. If I make the wrong decisions on the arrangements and style then so be it. Nobody dies because of it.

Fortunately I have my own studio which means I can spend entire evenings working on this stuff. Until last year I hardly used the studio for myself and seemed to be always doing stuff for other people and trying to hire it out.

Many of my friends are musicians (regularly mentioned in this blog) and I have to stop comparing myself to them. Sometimes it feels like I'm only 'pretending' to be a songwriter. They're doing it full time so I'm really only pretending to be an artist. That's a hard one to get over - that feeling that they'll come to the gig, hear the CD but will know that it's not the real deal.

I think a songwriter needs to set goals and deadlines. I've set myself a goal of having a launch gig in the small room in Whelan's for a CD. Ideally in the autumn. Given that I will be away for 3 weeks this summer and have a demanding day job it's quite a stretch. There's also the small matter of paying for the duplication and hiring the venue. With the goal in mind it's focusing my mind on getting this album done.

The person I’m corresponding with has set themselves a goal : write a good song this year. But I think they’re not giving themselves a fair chance. My message: If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion: set yourself a target to write as many songs as possible this year. If they're all shite then so be it. But I'll bet you a bottle of your favourite drink that there will be more than one gem in there.
Back in November I tried the NaSoAlMo project. I blogged about this back in November 2008.

Now, my point here is that I'm looking back on the songs I wrote and recorded for that project and have decided to keep two of them live on MySpace. I created an 'experimental-me' MySpace at http://myspace.com/iLIVEinAsuitcase . I think I will do something with those 2 songs. Each of them took less than 2 hours from opening a blank page in my notebook to finishing the demo.
So making yourself just keep outputting songs does yield results.

I found the open mic scene in Dublin to be very supportive (with only 1 exception really). Just getting out and playing your songs is a great learning process. You find out which material works and you also develop confidence. Most people look in awe at anyone who can play music in front of an audience. Even more people admire anyone who writes and performs their own material. 

My song writing friend mentioned the inner critic: "As songwriters I know a lot of us wrestle with the 'who wants to listen to me & my ****' mentality.
Every time I sit at my piano or take up my guitar I think 'oh, what's the point?' “
”why oh why do I limit myself by jumping the gun from idea to fear of doing anything with result of said idea. The result too often is No Result, because I limit & criticise myself from the moment of conception. "

Very valid points. They’re not alone in this. All I can say is this: the point is that you can do this and others can't. Nobody can write a ‘Peter Fitzpatrick’ song (not even Ron Sexsmith - he can only write Ron songs).
That moment of conception is where your best ideas are. They don't need to be complex ideas. For all it's complexity Jazz is still just 12 semi-tones. 

Here endeth the lecture.

This songwriting and performing lark throws up some surprises every now and again.

Late last night I got a reply to an email I had sent almost a year ago to AnnMarie O'Grady who had promoted a gig in our office through some friends. I asked for a support slot. Unfortunately at the time someone was already lined up.

AnnMarie is playing in a well known Dublin venue this Sunday and I'm playing support.

Back in 2007 I set myself a few goals for my music. One of them was to play Whelans because it's one of the better gigs in town.

Hopefully this will be the first of many. I like the idea of playing little anonymous gigs for 2-3 years and getting my name around town as a reliable interesting person to open a show. Now and again just playing my own gig would be nice but I'm realistic enough to know that I'm not 19 anymore. 

So thank you AnnMarie. I hope your audience like my material.

In other news I did an interview and live performance back in December for a local radio station.  Thanks to Dan Prendiville I have an MP3 of the show. You can download it here.

Last week I intervened to stop some children who had gone into a building site  from placing themselves in danger.

For my trouble I've had a whole boatload of hassle. My worst nightmare.

So I've decided to make a change in my attitude to 'doing the right thing'. I'm not going to do it anymore because it's not worth it.
Next time I see some kids putting themselves in danger I will walk on by.  Sorry neighbour but if I see them hanging around your house good luck because I'm not getting involved. Fly tipping ? Go for it mate because it's not my job to report you. Driving like a maniac ? Be my guest, just keep out of my way.  Kids throwing crap at cars on the street ? Let someone else deal with it. Not my problem.

This is completely selfish, mean spirited and anti-social.

I know this.

It's me or it's them.

It ain't gonna be me.

and in other news.... life sucks sometimes :-)